The Silicon Valley Therapist series #4

I created one of the biggest failures of my generation. Here’s what I learned:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/coming-back-from-one-greatest-failures-my-generation-warshaw/

 

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Quote: Reflection on Life Direction

“It’s easier to experience symptoms than it is to explore causes.”  -HSW

Therapy, if engaged seriously, can be hard work. It involves challenge and discomfort and pushing through resistance into new territory. The advantage is creating fresh possibilities and satisfaction in your life.

It’s much easier to simply keep doing what you’re doing. The only downside to that is you are likely to continue being right where you are.

If you’re considering therapy, remember this nugget from Lao Tzu: “If you do not change direction, you may wind up where you are heading.”

Is that where you want to go?

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The Silicon Valley Therapist series #03

Here are 5 things you should know about intelligence:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/youre-too-smart-have-problems-other-intelligence-howard-scott-warshaw

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The Posi-Traumatic Perspective: The Upside of Down Times

One way to frame trauma is the absolute interruption of all my patterns. In a trauma I am unable to continue performing life the way I’m used to doing it.

We tend to think of this as robbing us of the good things. We seldom think of it as interrupting our negative patterns too. The behaviors and habits that hold us back and keep us stuck… they get interrupted by trauma also.

And when they are interrupted, temporarily broken, that’s the best opportunity to change them! Trauma is not just a tragedy, it is also an opportunity. The opportunity to make a shift without all the baggage that our usual habits create.

We are going to resettle in the aftermath, why not resettle in a new, more positive growth oriented way?

We are taught extensively how bad some situations are: we call them traumatic moments, suffering catastrophic loss (fires, floods, death of a loved one), failing our dreams, losing a job. Getting rejected by my lover is one of the list toppers. We’ve even identified positive stressors, like moving into a new home or getting married.

We’re exceedingly well versed in problems. Why not consider some benefits?

For some reason today’s society seems more prone to finding the downside of joyous events than exploring the upside of difficulties. Well… you can begin changing that right now!

 

 

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HSW on NPR

Here is my interview on NPR. Their series on Total Failure was interested in my having authored the worst video game in history!  🙂

NPR Interview on All Things Considered, May 31, 2017

 

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The Silicon Valley Therapist series #02

Here is a discussion of some preconceptions and misperceptions of programmers:

Decoding the Computer Programmer Stereotype

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The Silicon Valley Therapist series #01

This is my first article for LinkedIn on new perspectives for life in Silicon Valley:

As A Therapist In Silicon Valley I Believe Our Diversity Is An Illusion

 

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How To Choose A Therapist

Therapy is a blind item. It’s hard to tell what you’ll get until you try it. Also, therapy is different with each therapist. For any person there may be lots of therapists who can help, but each of these therapists may help you in a different way.

How do I choose?

Research shows the most important factor is whether you believe this therapist will help you. In other words, you need to get to know the therapist. In sessions, this can be a very expensive shopping trip!

Is there a better way? In my case, yes there is…

You can get a very good sense of who I am by watching the documentary film “ATARI: Game Over” on Netflix. Read this blog. You will get a pretty good window into who I am and how I approach things. You will likely have a gut reaction to this material as most people do.

Listen to your gut!

If you feel good about what you see you will probably feel good about working with me. If you don’t, then I urge you to go ahead and look elsewhere.

You know best. Trust yourself on this level.

Getting to know a therapist is a crucial part of your treatment. It’s just as important as them getting to know you. Do your best to find the right one and then go get better!

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What’s Therapy About?

At times we all find ourselves in difficult or absurd circumstances. This is simply the product of seeking satisfaction while working our way down the path of life. This does not make us ridiculous or hopeless, it makes us human.

Though we stumble or even fall occasionally, we can always right ourselves and take a better next step. Therapy is not about the past. Therapy is about brushing off the dust and re-engaging the journey with fresh eyes and full heart.

Let’s have the conversation that changes your life.

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The Trip From A to B

A person leaves point A, travels a bit and winds up at point B. That’s what we see. But if we look a little deeper, this journey represents two very different trips.

In the first, the person is hanging out in A, suddenly sees B and says “WOW! That’s the place for me! I’m heading for B immediately.”

In the second, the person is hanging out in A thinking, “WOW! This sucks! I’m out of here. Oh, there’s B. That’s as good as anyplace. I’m heading for B immediately.”

One is about seeking a destination. The other is about exiting a problem.

Am I pursuing pleasure or avoiding pain? The classic question… but not always obvious.

We go from A to B all the time, but are we aware of what we’re doing?

Am I working toward a desired goal or running from an undesirable situation?

Do I know if I’m coming or going?

My travels have taught me this: It’s not as important to know my route as it is to understand which trip I’m taking.

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