To me, therapy is a very intimate activity. Now, in the age of unforeseen consequences, I’m wondering how attempts to sterilize the environment will impact the intimacy of the exchange.
There is no doubt that online sessions are less intimate than in-person work, all other things being equal. These days, however, all those other things are not equal. As we focus more on the molecules passing between us, do we become less focused on/aware of the therapeutic exchange taking place?
Is therapeutic intimacy better preserved online or in a hyper-cautious in-person setting? I’m not sure yet, but I think it’s an interesting point to consider as I evaluate how to deliver best care to my clients in this challenging environment.
Here’s my latest Silicon Valley Therapist article on dealing with the quarantine. I hope you find it helpful in our present pandemic predicament. Feel free to share it with colleagues and clients. Check it out…
“It’s easier to experience symptoms than it is to explore causes.” -HSW
Therapy, if engaged seriously, can be hard work. It involves challenge and discomfort and pushing through resistance into new territory. The advantage is creating fresh possibilities and satisfaction in your life.
It’s much easier to simply keep doing what you’re doing. The only downside to that is you are likely to continue being right where you are.
If you’re considering therapy, remember this nugget from Lao Tzu: “If you do not change direction, you may wind up where you are heading.”
Is that where you want to go?
One way to frame trauma is the absolute interruption of all my patterns. In a trauma I am unable to continue performing life the way I’m used to doing it.
We tend to think of this as robbing us of the good things. We seldom think of it as interrupting our negative patterns too. The behaviors and habits that hold us back and keep us stuck… they get interrupted by trauma also.
And when they are interrupted, temporarily broken, that’s the best opportunity to change them! Trauma is not just a tragedy, it is also an opportunity. The opportunity to make a shift without all the baggage that our usual habits create.
We are going to resettle in the aftermath, why not resettle in a new, more positive growth oriented way?
We are taught extensively how bad some situations are: we call them traumatic moments, suffering catastrophic loss (fires, floods, death of a loved one), failing our dreams, losing a job. Getting rejected by my lover is one of the list toppers. We’ve even identified positive stressors, like moving into a new home or getting married.
We’re exceedingly well versed in problems. Why not consider some benefits?
For some reason today’s society seems more prone to finding the downside of joyous events than exploring the upside of difficulties. Well… you can begin changing that right now!
Here is my interview on NPR. Their series on Total Failure was interested in my having authored the worst video game in history! 🙂
NPR Interview on All Things Considered, May 31, 2017
Here is a discussion of some preconceptions and misperceptions of programmers:
Decoding the Computer Programmer Stereotype
This is my first article for LinkedIn on new perspectives for life in Silicon Valley:
As A Therapist In Silicon Valley I Believe Our Diversity Is An Illusion
Therapy is a blind item. It’s hard to tell what you’ll get until you try it. Also, therapy is different with each therapist. For any person there may be lots of therapists who can help, but each of these therapists may help you in a different way.
How do I choose?
Research shows the most important factor is whether you believe this therapist will help you. In other words, you need to get to know the therapist. In sessions, this can be a very expensive shopping trip!
Is there a better way? In my case, yes there is…
You can get a very good sense of who I am by watching the documentary film “ATARI: Game Over” on Netflix. Read this blog. You will get a pretty good window into who I am and how I approach things. You will likely have a gut reaction to this material as most people do.
Listen to your gut!
If you feel good about what you see you will probably feel good about working with me. If you don’t, then I urge you to go ahead and look elsewhere.
You know best. Trust yourself on this level.
Getting to know a therapist is a crucial part of your treatment. It’s just as important as them getting to know you. Do your best to find the right one and then go get better!